Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Let's Hear It For The Bachelor

I watch The Bachelor. There I said it. I DVR the shit out of the show and I'm not ashamed. If you're a normal human being and don't care about The Bachelor then I suggest you stop reading this post and go read something fancy like a book. Can we move on, please?

Thank you. Here is my gripe; Why, why, WHY does everyone hate Courtney so much? I understand that people think she is a competitive psycho who hogs all of the Ben-time she can. What's so wrong about that? Don't you have to be a little crazy to actually go on that show? I thought that was one of the requirements that Chris Harrison screens you for before he tells you "You made it, now go buy 20 bathing suits and pack up!" And as for being competitive, well, if your not competing for the Bachelor then you're not doing it right. That's the entire point of the show. As much as I'm over her saying the phrase, Courtney is "winning".

Notice how red her eyes are, like a hungry Edward Cullen.
If you haven't seen this week's episode, SPOILER ALERT, Emily gets kicked off. She was my favesies and I am sad. Did I like her because her name was Emily? Yes. I can't help that I feel a natural sisterhood with anyone who shares my namesake. If she was actually my sister, then I would have told her to stop wasting her time with Ben by complaining about Courtney during their one on one dates. And if I were a REALLY good sister, I would have told her to not go on The Bachelor and invest in an eHarmony profile instead, but that's a different thing all together. (Sorry, that last paragraph was a bit of a rant. Artie is singing riffing "Let Me Love You" and I am 100% distracted).

Look, the moral of the story is "haters, back off" (a la Miranda Sings who, by the way, I would LOVE to see make an appearance on the next season of The Bachelor).

Courtney is doing everything right to win The Bachelor. Do I agree with her morals in real life? That's a hard question, because The Bachelor is, in fact, not real life. It's a T.V. show, a reality T.V. show to be exact and, unless you've been living under a rock, you must know by now that "reality T.V." is anything but reality. Courtney is playing a part and, as we can tell from her Caesar's palace commercial, she works that purple dress is an excellent actor.

Kids, there's no moral to this story. I'm interested to see who wins The Bachelor. It will be cool to read about them in People magazine for 6 months. Now, you'll have to excuse me. Mercedes is singing "I Will Always Love You", and I am wrecked. Oh no...key change.